Which Footballer Are You? ***** All Guys Must Read *****

Today’s story is a cheat no words are my own….but i had to share this with you guys.

Ladies you may not like this or get it lol but ahh well.

Guys don’t be afraid to comment!!

Enjoy…..

 

Either a  cunning display of creativity or an unhealthy love for the game of football has resulted in the BWNG creating up to 50 types of ‘players’ in the game. With the infamous Emile Heskey and the diva dude Carlos Tevez already created we thought we’d have an interlude with 11 other types.

So without further ado….

Cesc Fabregas

If Drake’s Marvin’s Room resonates with you then you are Cesc Fabregas. Anyone who is in a relationship where they still think about their ex, they are dealing with an emotional limbo similar to which Cesc Fabregas faced with Arsenal. How do you know you or your partner is a Cesc?

1. Entertaining conversations about the ex through their friends. “he / she really misses you”. If your partners friends are playing middle (wo)man, there is no coming back from this.
2. Not dismissing any speculation of contact with the ex, “just saying you could do better” If you cant provide what he or she can provide for your partner.
3. If dude is promising her jewellery shopping in places like Madrid, Rome and Monaco, you are dealing with a Cesc.
4. He or She was their first love and only got with you because the ex was unable to commit in the past.

Darren Bent

Every crew of guys has a Darren Bent, the guy who on the night out is the only one guaranteed to bang regardless of the club. These types of guys have a knack for being at the right place at the right time, usually the one that happens to get the females fully intoxicated from another man’s pocket. Usually located in the box (VIP) evaluating the situation to scope out the vulnerable females at the end of the night. He rarely gets the credit due because he doesn’t always score with glamorous chicks but when it comes to numbers none of the man dem can match him.

Xavi

If you are the go to man for advice and pulling strings for your friends relationships or playing the wingman, but you don’t get much glory then you are Xavi. Behind every good player is a older veteran of the game who is schooling him on what to do and avoid with females. Similar to how Barcelona always go through Xavi to create the scoring opportunities. The man dem know who the Xavi is within the crew and always gives him props when they score with women, but he is less obvious to the naked eye because he isn’t extravagant with his game.

Dirk Kuyt

This brother doesn’t have the natural ability, charisma or talents of say a Zlatan Ibrahimovic type but what he lacks in these departments he makes up for in serious work ethic….this my friends is Dirk Kuyt. That guy who will go to hell and back to get her number, to go on a date, to be with her or to get the booty has the determination and desire mirrored in constant forms of communication and pestering through social networks, text messaging, WhatsApp/BB messaging or face to face questions on a constant basis “So when are you gonna let me take you out?” he will keep chasing her down til he gets his just deserves…and it works. His gameplay is rarely heralded due to lack of finesse and he will sometimes incorporate the Heskey(Scrappy Beats/Positive Press Conferences/No Man Marking) and Solksjaer (Super Sub/Rebound Guy) roles intentionally to get the job done. But at the end of the day he found his niche and has been successful with it.

 

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

With all the best attributes and natural ability in the world this guy gets success everywhere he goes with minimal effort. Likened by many to be the man, but what keeps him from becoming the Cristiano Ronaldo/Lionel Messi types is his inability to care or commit long enough to achieve the greatness of which he is truly capable of. With a history of successful conquests (Ajax, Juventus, Inter Milan, AC Milan) that a man like Bendtner can only dream of, he has an air of arrogance which disables him from being with someone (Barcelona) long enough to take care of him and bring the best out of him as he fears his weaknesses would become more visible and he’d have to work a little harder to keep her.

 

Petr Cech

You ever have the most confident/upbeat/positive friend in the world who’s either in a fantastic long term relationship or happy being a successful bachelor; who all of a sudden suffers a painful break-up/rejection which renders them vulnerable? This is Petr Cech, formerly  the world’s most reliable and consistently high-performing goalkeeper who after colliding with Stephen Hunt leaving him out the game for a while, returned a shadow of the player he was. This person has never been able to recover from said incident and can’t shake off the memory which has left them inconsistent, reserved and suffering lack of confidence as a result.

 

Francesco Totti

One of the most sought after brothers, he has universal appeal and everybody wants him; you can’t go anywhere with him without someone inquiring about his availability. However, humble and loyal to his upbringing this brother only likes one type of woman (Roma). He appreciates the attention from all types but sticks to the one.

Niklas Bendtner

 

HE MISSED

This guy does not need an agent as he is his own personal promotion team and his biggest fan all in one. He once famously stated in an interview “ I believe I can become the best player in the world” and despite Europe’s best teams ‘fighting’ for his signature he currently plays for Sunderland (oops). Sound familiar at all? A guy who blows his own trumpet, cocky and self assured thinks he is the best thing since Fizzy Ribena but his current love interest does not match his talk. Meet Bendtner he has talent/good looks/personality but is actually an annoyance more than anything else and for that reason is more likely to be referred to as Bender.

Fernando Torres

Good ol’ Torres…The type of guy who at one point in his career created fear in the eyes of competition;  you see him in a club and you knew he’d be deadly in the box (V.I.P) when girls were around him; the guy had the ability to create an opening from nothing. However as time has gone by you begin to realise that maybe just maybe you saw too much into this character, that despite possessing early praise his record isn’t as successful as first thought. When amongst those similar to him his confidence wanes, sure he’s able to acquire the glam lifestyle through obtaining the good job however the self belief is so low he  ends up celebrating scrappy goals and is consistently reminded by his peers (the quality of the Spain national team) that he may not be able to keep up.

Dimitar Berbatov

You jump at the chance to join Man Utd and then you find yourself being benched for a young ting the season after you finished top scorer in your best year, what went wrong? . The Berbatov wants Manchester United (most glamourous partner) but competition is rife there. They will be almost a demi god at a Spurs or an Everton (above average person phsycially and financially )but that’s not enough, they want the hot ting…but so does everybody else. You could hit 30 and get left for a young Welbeck who at this point is what you were 5 years ago but that’s just how the game goes. The thing about ambition in the world we live in today is there isn’t enough space for everyone at the top as then it wouldn’t be the top anymore would it? You can be Rooney (with implanted fake hair cause you got cake like that with one of nations sweethearts on your arm) but you could easily also become berba (divorced with some ferrari driving young ting with your ex on their arm) “play your position” double entendre *no jigga*

Lionel Messi/Cristiano Ronaldo

The top of the game, most consistent most admired and sought after players (most attractive intelligent succesful) you would sell your house to buy them and you would be the envy of the world. They are far from the same though as what seperates them is their attitude: one is humble, loyal and quiet…the other is cocky, loud and arrogant. Messi is the good private guy the other is a playboy who pays his baby mother top dollar to remain silent and anonymous. Both are great and you cannot question their talents and appeal however it depends on what women like – The Good Guy or the trophy player which heightens the appeal.

We could go on forever but then that would stop you guys taking part. You’d be surprised how synonymous playing styles are with characters in relationships or The Game. So BWNG asks Which Footballer Are You? and What other types of footballers/characters can you think of?

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Source: http://www.brotherswithnogame.com/what-footballer-are-you/